Sometimes my brain gets stuck. Occasionally it happens in a conversation and people think I've had an aneurism. More often, like this time, it happens when I'm reading. I'll read a sentence and my eyes will continue to read on but my brain will have stopped way back where it got stuck. Sometimes it takes me a couple of pages to realize I'm not actually retaining what I'm reading because my brain is stuck. Then it takes a few minutes for me to find exactly where my brain got stuck. I really can't function until I find the stuck spot. It is very frustrating.
This recently happened while I was reading the Gospel of John. Somehow when I get brain stuck reading the Bible it feels really spiritual; like God is trying to get my attention. The line was, "Unless I wash you, you won't belong to Me." It's found in John 13:8. The whole passage is about Jesus washing His disciples' feet which Jesus just starts doing without telling them what He's on about. It's Peter who breaks the silence (as usual). He refers to Jesus as "Lord". "Lord" is a cool title. "Lord" has status. With this one word, Peter is elevating Jesus and humbling himself. That's a lot of work for one word to do but "Lord" gets the job done.
• 13:6-8a| Peter argues with Jesus.
• 13:8b| Jesus says this "belong" statement where my brain gets stuck.
• 13:9| Peter misses the point.
• 13:10-11| Jesus makes a jab at Judas.
• 13:12-17| Jesus explains why He washed their feet.
• 13:18| Jesus makes another jab at Judas. (At this point Jesus is wishing Judas would just leave).
Because Peter calls Jesus Lord, we automatically understand the hierarchy of roles that Jesus and Peter play. Jesus is the master and Peter is the slave. These are the titles that Jesus uses when He explains the foot washing in verses 12-17, master and slave. Typically slaves are forced to serve the master. In this case the slave really really wants to belong to the master and the master is the one who is serving the slave through a very disgusting toe jam cleansing. The brain stuck part is the necessity of the serving which creates the belonging. The person being served belongs to the person who is serving.
I feel this in the core of my being. I know this emotion intimately. I dread it. I fear it. I don't want to be indebted to anyone. I want to be independent. When someone does me a favour, I feel compelled to return it. I can even extend this feeling to compliments; I feel like I owe them. When someone serves me I belong to them. This feels very negative like it's something to avoid but somehow I think that is exactly what Jesus had in mind. My brain got stuck.
In verse 15 Jesus says, "I have given you an example (foot washing) to follow. Do as I have done to you." And then later in verse 34 He says, "Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are My disciples." I'm left with the distinct impression that Jesus is all about us belonging to each other. I get that I need to serve and that has always made sense to me. The love I have received from Jesus is a part of me. It flows through me and makes loving other people fun. But if I am unwilling to be served by the person I have served, I think that proves my love for them is incomplete.
Pride. The root of this is pride and the only antidote I'm aware of is humility which is exactly the posture Jesus took when He bent down to wash. Equally humbling is watching someone you love and respect clean out your toe jam. So embarrassing. Peter was appalled but when given the alternative, he would rather have Jesus clean everything than risk not belonging, not being His disciple, not loving and being loved.
We all belong together. We were made to belong together. The sin of refusing someone's love, of telling that person their love isn't good enough ought to be banished from our community. Jesus cares about this so much that on the night of His betrayal He was compelled to humble Himself and use His last remaining moments of freedom to teach about belonging. Belonging requires humility which will prove our love for each other so that the world will know we are disciples of Jesus; so that we know we all belong together like peanut butter and toe jam.
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